Friday, August 14, 2009

Captain's Log: Shortbread Zombie Tears




This entry of the Captain's Log is coming to you from the BA Clubworld Lounge. Although we have not yet begun the Transatlantic leg of our perilous, zombie-filled, ABBAtastic voyage, we have already encountered a certain amount of drama thanks to Bryan the Bosun, who will be facing court martial once we reconvene with Admiral Mary.

Upon arriving at Dulles International shortly before 5 PM, your captain was looking forward to a leisurely survey of the new Clubworld lounge and perhaps a nice watercress sandwich or two before boarding our flight around 7PM. Upon clearing airport security, however, Bryan the Bosun set a brisk pace for the boarding gate--NOT in the direction of the Clubworld lounge. When I questioned this heading, he announced that our flight to London was boarding imminently!

Now, for those of you who may be new members of the Leaky Dinghy's virtual crew, you may not be aware that, in the wake of the Flying Inferno Incident, Captain Elizabeth flies only under the influence of Dr. Marley's Feel Alright Pills--which are very slow-acting and require an hour or so to take effect. Ergo, Bryan the Bosun's announcement instantly had several severe repurcussions:
1) Your Captain began to cry quiet tears of terror in the middle of the airport
2) Your Captain, panicked, popped an unprecedented two (2!!) Feel Alright pills--double her conventional dose--but with little hope of these actually working in time
3) Bryan the Bosun went and checked the Big Departures Board and discovered, oops, Captian Elizabeth was right, flight leaves at 7.

Sooo, I'm feeling EXTREMELY alright--more alright than I've ever felt before in my life, even when I was taking the stuff they gave me after yanking out my wisdom teeth. But I can still type (as long as I don't move my head much) so I thought I should probably go ahead and write up all these details for the upcoming court martial. (A great captain always perseveres despite the odds.) Also, it might be fun later to see what I just wrote, as I will almost certainly have no memory of ever writing this.

I am now feeling the urge to end with a cute puppy picture, and I am in charge, so here you go.

Next report: London


No comments: