Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Captain's Log: Zombie Ship Infiltration

Emboldened by the obvious Zombie presence in Stockholm's Sodermalm neighborhood, the crew of the Leaky Dinghy awoke more determined than ever to study these terrifying creatures at close range. It would no longer be enough, we decided to track the Zombie transport ship from the safety of the Leaky DInghy and our fleet flagship, the Las' Straw. No, the crew and officers of the Leaky Fleet must undertake a course of action so treacherous and daring, so bold and uncertain, it has never before been attempted by even the most dedicated of Zombie researchers: we will infiltrate the Zombie transport ship and study the Zombies while living among them. Resolved, the first step was to rendezvous with Leaky Fleet Command, Admiral Mary and Ship's Engineer Hank. This was easily accomplished, as Ship's Engineer Hank had left this detailed chart for us at the front desk.

Following this precise heading, we presented ourselves at the Zombie transport ship dressed in our best Zombie camouflage,

J.Crew blazer: popular attire among the living dead.

only to be turned away due to our not having paid an "early embarkation fee." We were invited to return after 2:30, however, so we went away hopeful and proceeded to the Vasa Museum to conduct a little background research. What, you might ask, does a museum about a ship that sunk in 1628 have to do with Zombies? The museum itself holds the answers.

As we examined this painstakingly preserved gunship, which capsized 1500 meters into it's maiden voyage, a single fact became glaringly obvious: the Vasa was sunk by Zombies!

I offer as evidence this scene from the museum's own life-sized display on life aboard the Vasa:

Note the senseless rage on the face of the big, wooden chap? Zombies.

And from this half-model on the same subject

I draw your attention to this:

Soon to arise as Zombies

And this:

The dude in ankle chains: already a Zombie.

And this harrowing account of the Vasa's final battle against the Zombies:

Now forewarned of the specific dangers of traveling aboard a ship full of Zombies, we nonetheless returned to the ship and, this time, were allowed to board. Our disguises intact, we have settled into our cabin and are attempting to blend in.

Stay tuned.

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